Grey Divorce Counselling in Family Court Settings: A Practitioner’s Reflections

Counselling an older adult undergoing divorce is very unlike counselling other adults, as it involves a gradual revelation of two or three decades of marital life that unfolds couples’ perceptions and experiences of togetherness, the root cause (s), and specialized alternatives to resolve disputes. The diversity of vulnerabilities among older adults requires special techniques and skills to explore their reality. Hence, a counsellor usually follows a holistic approach, which integrates traditional marriage counselling techniques with gerontological counselling procedures. While strictly following the principles of counselling, the counsellor interrogates the nature of relationships, family details and family history, socio-economic particulars, relationships with children and grandchildren, physical and mental health issues during middle age and retirement life, future plans, etc. A counsellor by profession primarily focuses on settling the dispute between the parties through reconciliation and settlement. Considering the degree of vulnerability, the counsellor must also ensure the empowerment and welfare of the client. More often than not, divorce counselling with older adults extends beyond them to their children, close relatives, and collateral contacts. This article discusses a principal counsellor’s reflections on grey divorce counselling in family court settings.