My Personal, Professional, and Academic Journey and Lived Experience with Domestic Violence

Regardless of its definition or perception, intimate partner, domestic, or family violence is a crime and remains a societal scourge around the world. Some people grow up in loving, stable homes while others are raised in an environment filled with violence, rage, fear, dysfunction, and toxicity. In the household I was raised in, discipline always came in the form of verbal and physical violence which was considered “the norm.” My personal development from infancy and into early adulthood was chaotic and destructive and I had no positive male role model in my life. I became needy, insecure, nihilistic, and angry with everyone and everything around me; I constantly failed in my own intimate and personal relationships. Academically, I was a below average student; professionally, I was undereducated with no advancement potential and I faced a life of perpetual failure. Now, upon reflection, I am convinced that my lived experience with domestic violence very nearly doomed me a cycle of failure. When I became a police officer, I used my personal experience with domestic violence to empathize with the victim; to be her champion. My goal was to become that officer who understood domestic violence, to bring her abuser to justice, and free her from being constantly abused. Later in my policing career, I wanted to transfer that personal and professional knowledge into a doctoral study and become a respected scholar/practitioner.