Is there something exceptional about modern humans compared to early human ancestors? Until recently, Neanderthal research focused on human uniqueness: what made us decisively different? Although Neanderthals are increasingly recognised as similar to us, researchers tended to ask whether there was a decisive difference that enabled modern humans to move from “nature” to “culture” and develop complex technology, language, art and social organisation. This question shaped both scientific debates and Neanderthal novels, where encounters between “superior” humans and “inferior” Neanderthals often explained the latter’s demise. Today, however, a shift is visible both in paleo-archeology and in Neanderthal novels. The binary opposition of “them” versus “us” is giving way to a more dynamic, interactive and inclusive view of early human history, a change that affects how we see ourselves. We address the question of whether and how a non-binary, non-hierarchical perspective on the Neanderthal–human encounter is taking shape in science, philosophy and literature. We approach this question interdisciplinarily, combining philosophy, archeology and literary studies. In research on the Châtelperronian period, when Neanderthals and modern humans coexisted, the focus is moving from competition to interaction and exchange. Likewise, Neanderthal novels show a transition from depictions of violence and superiority to narratives of connection and coexistence. For example, Jack London’s Before Adam contrasts with recent works that imagine shared contemporaneity in Pleistocene Europe. This reorientation matters today, as it fosters a more dynamic and inclusive conception of humanity—one that emphasises interaction, embeddedness and shared belonging over hierarchy and separation.