Extolled in print by the transhumanist manifestos of Ray Kurzweil, Nick Bostrom, and Yuval Noah Harari, and further popularized by the public statements of Elon Musk and Peter Thiel, among others, the techno-optimist’s transhumanist vision for the future of humanity aspires to no less than utopia, the eventual realization of which, whatever else it might entail, is said to involve the overcoming of even death itself. In response to a time of nihilism that threatens to only become darker should it embrace the technocratic delusions of transhumanism, the task of phenomenology (as represented here by Søren Kierkegaard and Jean-Louis Chrétien) is to remind us of our true humanity, or better, the glory of being human. Focusing on Kierkegaard’s edifying discourse from 1849 “The Lily of the Field and Bird of the Air” and Chrétien’s chapter “Bonheur et temporalité” in the 2010 book of essays Reconnaissances philosophiques, this essay examines Kierkegaard and Chrétien’s complementary reflections on the nature of being human to highlight the deep confusions lying at the heart of modernity’s understanding of time and the pursuit of human happiness. What these two texts of the Christian phenomenological tradition say about temporality and happiness can illuminate that the human desire for eternal life, which is itself timeless, is a yearning that can only be satisfied by salvation in God, not our own efforts.