Parenting Capacity Assessments (PCAs) play an critical role in decision-making regarding children at risk of maltreatment, but there is little consensus as to what they should involve, how they should be carried out, or research into their helpfulness. The primarily behavioural, symptom-based, focus of PCAs risks setting up parents to fail. The Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation (DMM) in general, and the Meaning of the Child Interview (MotC) in particular, offer a formulation-based approach to parenting assessment, understanding ‘why’, without either documenting failure or ignoring problems. The approach centres upon making relationships work for all concerned rather than whether parents can do the ‘right thing’. We outline a process integrating the MotC with other assessments, and the wider context, to build a detailed and well-evidenced understanding of what is driving relationships. This is then used to plan what might improve them to keep everyone safe. The Signs of Safety approach, currently the practice model in the Irish context, is strengths-led but can be surface-orientated in application. Integrating the approaches may help avoid offering unsuitable intervention, pushing parents into a negative failure-and-shame cycle, and their children into the care-system. This is illustrated with the case example of Mary and her daughters.