The 2018 Global Peace Index ranks South Africa as one of the most violent countries in the world. This is due partly to a patriarchal history of gender inequality and exclusion, and cultural beliefs that view women as subordinate to males. Men’s uncritical embrace of power tends to ignore the intersections between gender and injustice, and, as shown in this study, can lead to violence against women in school leadership and management positions. An imbalance of power arising from patriarchal attitudes in the home, church, and communities contributes to a gendered framework for school leadership. This framework subtly excludes women, exploits femininity, and undermines women’s capabilities and confidence. In this study, I examine my own and others’ experiences of being dehumanised in the school leadership setting, showing how a cohort of women leaders, including myself, draw from their innate resilience to successfully lead in extremely trying and dangerous circumstances. My narrative is not intended as a ‘pity-party or a celebration of victimhood’ (Magubane, Black academic voices: The South African experience. HSRC Press, 2019, p. iv), but rather as a reflection of the reality in some schools, and a call to agency and action among women. My aim is to empower women with my lived experience. This collaborative auto-ethnographic study is grounded in the theory of epistemic oppression, which explains the systematic and persistent oppression of certain groups that prevents them from accessing shared epistemic resources. This form of oppression often intersects with social and political oppression, thereby maintaining and reinforcing existing power imbalances.