Forgiveness Is ‘The Wrong Word’: Empathic Repair and the Potential for Human Connection in the Aftermath of Historical Trauma

As a psychologist with South Africa’s great experiment in national healing, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC), Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela argues that ‘forgiveness’ is the wrong word to describe what takes place in victim–perpetrator encounters. Rather, it is ‘the emergence of the unexpected’ that arises from witnessing each other’s pain—namely emphatic care and repair. Empathy goes beyond forgiveness and serves two functions. First, it seeks to ‘restore’ the survival of the lost loved one who was murdered by the perpetrator. Second, by showing the kind of caring and containment that prevents disintegration in the perpetrator, the victim creates a new relational experience with him, which reconstitutes the memory of the loss as a positive narrative. First-hand experiences and interviews serve to illustrate Gobodo-Madikizela’s position.