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Deafness has taken us to very dark places. Hyper-individualisation and confirmation bias are common mechanisms used to flatten the other’s complexities into a mirror. To enclose ourselves in narcissistic bubbles where the ideal self (Lacan, 1938) can be accommodated without risk. These bubbles are communities without noise, in which everyone agrees, everyone communicates clearly. But these bubbles, just like soap ones, are precarious. They are imaginations of a relationship with the other that does not exist. That is why they are frequently bursting. They are extremely sensitive, made of a clear extra thin membrane that distortedly reflect what is inside and what is outside. Listening to the other is to burst the bubble. It is to relinquish the alleged ability to acquire information about the other’s thoughts, feelings, or activities without incorporating this other. It is to open oneself to the complexity of the other through the word, to the possibility of creating a third between me and them. We tend to take listening as a given. Hearing is indeed a physical attribute, but listening takes practice. It requires time and attention. Usually, while listening, we are already thinking about where we agree, where we disagree, or what we will say in response. The focus is on the self not on the other. But genuinely listening is to give power to the other. We tend attribute power to the ability to talk, not to the ability to listen. We choose our leaders based on their speaking skills, not their listening skills. We learn, practice, judge, and reward speech and forget to value listening. But a momentary respite from all the pervasive noise can be powerful. To think of who we are giving our power of listening can potentially trump a quest for sound and fury. It can be a chain reaction in which each person who is genuinely listened to feels naturally inspired to listen to the next. Thus, creating more bridges of dissimilarity than walls, which seems to me to be the future of any relationship we can think of building with the other.

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Through the Looking Glass: The Language of Listening

  • 章节

  • 发表日期：

    2025年

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  • Isadora Petrauskas

摘要

Deafness has taken us to very dark places. Hyper-individualisation and confirmation bias are common mechanisms used to flatten the other’s complexities into a mirror. To enclose ourselves in narcissistic bubbles where the ideal self (Lacan, 1938) can be accommodated without risk. These bubbles are communities without noise, in which everyone agrees, everyone communicates clearly. But these bubbles, just like soap ones, are precarious. They are imaginations of a relationship with the other that does not exist. That is why they are frequently bursting. They are extremely sensitive, made of a clear extra thin membrane that distortedly reflect what is inside and what is outside. Listening to the other is to burst the bubble. It is to relinquish the alleged ability to acquire information about the other’s thoughts, feelings, or activities without incorporating this other. It is to open oneself to the complexity of the other through the word, to the possibility of creating a third between me and them. We tend to take listening as a given. Hearing is indeed a physical attribute, but listening takes practice. It requires time and attention. Usually, while listening, we are already thinking about where we agree, where we disagree, or what we will say in response. The focus is on the self not on the other. But genuinely listening is to give power to the other. We tend attribute power to the ability to talk, not to the ability to listen. We choose our leaders based on their speaking skills, not their listening skills. We learn, practice, judge, and reward speech and forget to value listening. But a momentary respite from all the pervasive noise can be powerful. To think of who we are giving our power of listening can potentially trump a quest for sound and fury. It can be a chain reaction in which each person who is genuinely listened to feels naturally inspired to listen to the next. Thus, creating more bridges of dissimilarity than walls, which seems to me to be the future of any relationship we can think of building with the other.