Friends Are Everything

Relationships with friends are generally the most important relationships beyond the family as sources of companionship, positive regard and validation, and for the development of moral sensitivities. Attending schools informed by a strong sense of community and oft-celebrated shared values, those relationships acquire special force and become a precious life resource. This chapter explores how the social networks of those who attended Jewish schools have taken shape in ways that are different from their Jewish peers who attended non-Jewish schools, and how, in turn, the social dynamics formed at school have shaped dating choices and then social opportunities and social choices at university. We find that the friendship networks formed at Jewish schools are tremendous assets for their graduates once they leave home and head to university. These networks facilitate the transition to university and provide a platform on which to build adult Jewish life. We find that three years after graduating secondary school large proportions of Jewish school graduates report that their school friends still make up most of their closest friends. We show that while Jewish school graduates do not share the same principled commitment to dating Jewish and marrying Jewish as their parents’ generation, they are still more inclined than their peers who graduated non-Jewish schools to date and marry other Jews.