Holding, Handling, Moulding and Setting the Inner Thoughts of another, in Hidden Thoughts I: Do I Matter?

Hidden Thoughts I: Do I Matter? (2017) for six solo voices and chamber ensemble is a journey into that murky place: it’s the chatter in your head, as dark as it is ridiculous. And it asks you to consider what confines you. Eckhart Tolle says, “become a witness to your thoughts and you are no longer a slave to them.” (Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, San Francisco: New World Library, 2004). The text for the work is distilled from the answers of over two hundred women to a confidential survey about their private thoughts. I chose which text to include, how to set each text, how to structure each individual thought into a larger narrative that brings joy, expresses longing and pain and acknowledges loss and also desire. Although I was actively seeking new ways of connecting with audience, I was not expecting the deep impact on me of the words generously provided by the women who completed the survey. At times, the writing process was gruelling as I personally dealt with the content divulged to me. I had to draw upon my previous writing and heavily rely on my craft to navigate best ways to represent the text fully and honestly, which I detail in this chapter.