Background <p>Few studies have focused on how adult children’s status quo is related to their non-cohabiting parents’ mental health, especially to elucidate its mechanisms in the Chinese transitional context. This study investigated this issue and examined rural-urban differences.</p> Methods <p>This study used data from the China Health and Retirement Longitudinal Survey 2020. The status quo of adult children was measured by education, income and health status. Depression was measured using the Centre for Epidemiological Studies Depression Scale. Multivariable regression and mediation analyses were performed.</p> Results <p>Adult children’s education, income and health were all significantly associated with lower depressive symptoms in non-cohabiting parents (<i>p</i> &lt; 0.001). However, child income was only significant in the rural sample (<i>p</i> &lt; 0.001). Mediation analysis confirmed the pathway from children’s income and health status to parental depression through meeting frequency. The direct effects of income and health status on parental depression were − 0.218 and − 0.735 respectively, while the indirect effects were 0.031 and − 0.048. Although financial support was closely related to children’s status quo, it was not directly related to parents’ mental health.</p> Conclusion <p>Even in the context of non-cohabitation, parents’ mental health is still linked to the status quo of adult children. Given that meeting frequency has a significant positive effect on reducing depressive symptoms among elderly parents, future anti-depression policies should take into account the changes in family patterns in China and formulate more policies to facilitate intergenerational emotional support for the elderly.</p>