When parents die: Bereavement, decision-making and achieving adult personhood in rural Togo

Death has received considerable attention in the social sciences when it comes to rites of passage, for example, funerals, cremations, vigils, or memorial services. As elders pass away, the generations shift, and former youths become elders themselves. This paper presents the case of my host father, a local notable in northern Togo, who died in 2018 and was honoured by an extensive mourning ritual the following year. Drawing on intense and active participant observation, I show the challenges my host sibling group faced in achieving social adulthood. Through daily decision-making processes, this group of grown sons and daughters shaped, manipulated and reorganised the configuration of rituals, addressing issues of succession, conflicts between animist and Christian rites, and whether to classify cattle gifts as ancestral honours or delayed bridal gifts. Making such decisions at the end of elders’ lives is a crucial process for the rising generation to achieve adult social status.