What Is the Patriarchy Doing in Our Bed? Violent Sexual-Affective Experiences Among Youth

In the context of a qualitative research study on sexual practices and risk among youth, repeated accounts of non-consensual sex and other forms of gender-based violence emerged. Drawing from that research, this article explores the influence of the patriarchal system on sexual-affective relationships among young people aged 18–25 years residing in Andalusia, Spain.

The fieldwork was conducted between March and May 2019. Six discussion groups were held with 39 participants segmented by gender, level of education, sexual orientation, and length of relationships.

The results show that patriarchal constructs related to female body standards and the subordination of women’s pleasure to men’s, in addition to blackmail and sexual violence, continue to pervade the sexual-affective imaginaries and experiences of young people. Additionally, the participants’ discourses on patriarchal and sexual violence are interwoven with critical feminist points of view, revealing timid signs of resistance to the patriarchal order.

Women navigate inequality by assuming, negotiating, or rebelling against the different types of violence to which they are exposed in their intimate relationships. In their sexual-affective relationships, young people today are confronted with numerous tensions and contradictions. The discourse of females shifts between their right to seek pleasure and self-blaming, while trying to overcome feelings of shame and dismantling aesthetic standards or empowering themselves and claiming orgasm equality.

The findings are applicable for the prevention of violence against young women in relationships of trust.