Forgive and Forego? Exploring Interpersonal Forgiveness in Non-Reconciled Relationships Among Young Adults

Interpersonal forgiveness is conceptualized as a relationship-preserving mechanism where reconciliation is touted as the final goal, establishing its authenticity. The distinction is important, particularly in identifying situations where non-reconciliation fosters the maintenance of the state of forgiveness. The present study aimed to provide an empirical basis for this distinction by exploring the process of interpersonal forgiveness in young individuals who have forgiven but not reconciled with the offenders. A cross-sectional qualitative study was undertaken using a semi-structured interview schedule with twelve participants (six males and six females) who had experienced interpersonal offences in their romantic relationships and non-romantic friendships. Thematic analysis was employed to extract relevant themes from the interviews revealed three themes—“process of forgiveness”, “changes brought forth by forgiveness” and “purpose of forgiveness”. The first two themes alluded to the benefits of interpersonal forgiveness, while the third brought forth the distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. Participants emphasized the need to accept the fallibility of the relationship post the offence and to exercise their sense of agency as they ‘decide to detach’ from the offender while maintaining the state of forgiveness towards them. Further, the decision of non-reconciliation did not seem to deter the intrapersonal mental health-enhancing consequences of forgiveness. Such findings add to the theoretical distinctions between forgiveness and reconciliation. They can be incorporated into therapy by helping clients experience the psychological benefits of forgiveness without feeling the burden of reconciling with the offender.