<p>This paper examines the royal touch, a thaumaturgic healing ritual in which the monarchs of medieval-early modern England and France attempted to cure scrofula through physical contact with the afflicted. Using rational choice theory, we explain how this esoteric practice endured for so long. Monarchs engaged in the royal touch to secure political legitimacy and popular support by projecting divine favor and Christian benevolence, especially in times of instability or dynastic uncertainty. Meanwhile, patients willingly participated in the royal touch as it was a cheap and non-invasive procedure that was consistent with their belief in the efficacy of miracles. This belief was reinforced by scrofula’s self-limiting nature and by the monarchs’ strategic selection of likely-to-recover individuals. The practice ultimately faded with the spread of secularism, disillusionment in monarchy as a viable form of governance, and advancements in medical science. Our key finding is that mystical healing rituals persist when both patients and monarchs perceive them as net beneficial within their specific institutional and historical contexts.</p>