Never Spoken: Caregiving for those Who Are Abusive or Cause Harm

Caregiving has been regarded as a necessary and important part of the life course. The scholarly literature is filled with studies about how caregiving can affect a caregiver’s life in a myriad of ways including the ability to work, engage in social interactions and relationships, and maintain good physical and mental health. Research has focused on how caregiving can bring great satisfaction and strengthen relationships, thus enhancing caregivers’ quality of life. Absent from existing research are the experiences of those who must care for people who are abusive or harmful prior to the need for support. The motivators for caregiving, such as empathy and wanting to improve someone’s life, can be different for this group with more risks and fewer benefits. Carers may enter these situations with anger, resentment, unhealed trauma, and/or emotional distance. This article explores a dynamic that has been grossly understudied, examining how a traditional caregiving model needs to be modified when a caregiver and person needing support have a preexisting toxic relationship. Future practice models and research must focus on how the intrapsychic stress in these situations creates unique problems for both caregivers and those receiving support.